Six Stages of Having a Crush
by Sparrows13
Summary: She's barely said more than five syllables to him over the entire course of high school and he isn't a jock or a club president. He's a nerd, one of the "endangered species" of her school, and he's caught her eye. Clary finds herself in a position which leaves her feeling borderline stalkerish because obviously, having a crush comes with duties. [AU/AH/OOC/Short Story]
1. Stage 1: The Discovery

**_Six Stages of Having a Crush_**

 ** _Stage 1: The Discovery_**

* * *

'So, the coral islands are basically made of years and years of polyps living and dying on each other,' Mrs. Graymark concluded and I made a disgusted face.

'Can you believe how creepy that is? Imagine me building my house on your grave, then my children doing the same to me, those ungrateful bastards. In fact, I don't think they'd even bury me. Polyps don't bury their elders, so my children won't even bury me. Oh my God, Magnus, this is unbelievable,' I whisper- ranted to my best friend, Magnus, who was partnered up with me.

He shook his head and under his breath, murmured, 'Why do I even agree to be your partner?' and then whispered back, 'You don't have children, Clary.'

'Well, I might. I swear, moments like these I love being human…other moments, I want to be a tomato named Steve,' I mused and then heard the most horrifying thing ever.

'Clary. Can you please enlighten the class on your discussion?' Mrs. Graymark called out and Magnus looked like he wanted to be buried underneath a house. Which might happen someday, for all I know.

'Polyps are amazing creatures, Mrs. Graymark. That's what we were discussing. The way they live and die on each other is just… _fascinating_ ,' I said with a straight face and heard a couple of snickers.

Mrs. Graymark looked dreamy. 'They are, aren't they?' and that was when the bell rang to signal the end of the day, and practically every single kid in class ran like the class was on fire.

'Oh my God, Clary, look at that,' Magnus marvelled in mock-wonder as he watched teenagers scramble out of the room.

I propped up my feet on the desk. 'What?'

Magnus reached out, as if in a trance. 'I must have one of these creatures,' he declared, eying the people.

'What, humans?' I asked, raising my brows and stuffing my highlighter and pen into a pouch.

'Humans who _run_ , Clary,' he clarified. 'I mean…I haven't seen people do that in ages.'

I scoffed. 'What was that thing you were doing when you panicked and couldn't find your coffee cup?'

He looked offended. 'That was a power-walk, Clarissa.'

I stared him down. 'This is sad. I can't be all dominative and call you by your full name because your full name is Magnus,' I sighed, slinging my backpack across my shoulder and smacking Magnus upside the head. 'We're going to be late.'

'Why are you such a violent bitch?' he mumbled and then, 'I swear, we say shit to each other but are still best friends. What sorcery?'

I shrugged. 'Heck if I know.'

'Okay wait, is that Jace Herondale?' I asked, halting and causing Magnus to bump into me.

'Ouch. Who?' he looked around, his eyes straining until they fall on the blond in the corner, his face partially hidden by nerd glasses, his head buried in a book as he leaned against his beat up old truck.

'Yes, it is,' Magnus confirmed, grabbing my hand and stretching my fingers open to get my car keys. 'So what?'

I studied Jace a little more carefully and hot damn, how did I never notice him like that before? Usually he was the shy, invisible kid at the back who looked like he might puke at the slightest bit of attention.

'Jace?' I repeated to myself, looking at the guy's blond curls wind over his ear, the way his body seemed muscled and toned even from beneath the layers of clothing he wore. _In summer_. His golden eyes were trained concentrated on his book, oblivious to the sweltering heat around him.

'Clary, get in please. Do I need to bust a million brain cells in this heat for you to stop ogling the nerd and come on?' Magnus whined from behind the wheel.

I rolled my eyes, yanking open the passenger side door and sliding in. 'How the bloody hell did I not notice that fine specimen before?' I wondered out loud and earned a strange look from Magnus.

'Sweetheart, those are your hormones yapping. Eat chocolate, watch The Notebook and your attention will be diverted from wanting to jump him,' he advised, stepping on the gas and I turned up the radio to full volume, my eyes on Jace as we pulled out of the lot and for a second there, I almost thought he looked back at me.

 _Oh my God, I need to get a life_.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so I was just writing a drabble about a boring Geography class with the polyps because let's be real…this is my life and that event is true. And then I watched Superwoman's video 6 Stages of Having a Crush. So I decided to incorporate that with this and** ** _KABLAM_** **a new story was born.**

 **Let me know if you'd like it continued. This is my first time writing a high school fic because the schools here are way different from schools in other countries. I swear, it ain't fair having a Starbucks open up opposite your school. It's like having a starved dog stare at dog biscuits all day.**

 **And, those who've read my stories before, I promise this won't be sad.**


	2. Stage 2: The Research

**_Six Stages of Having a Crush_**

 ** _Stage Two: The Research_**

* * *

'I think I might run out of wipes,' I informed Magnus as we sat in the library and pretended to study my biology notes, but were actually there for the WiFi. It was actually ironic that the sleepiest library ever would have such fast WiFi. I pegged it down to the fact that not many people visited this place and were aware of the service.

'Isabelle's on her way over,' Magnus said, 'Ask her to pick up a box.'

'You do that,' I suggested and turned my head upwards, the cool AirCon air filtering through. It was like the Gods were bestowing their blessings upon us.

'Isabelle?' I heard Magnus bark into his phone. 'Our damsel here requires a box of wipes, ASAP. Why? Because we might die of heatstrokes, that's why.'

I opened up the browser on my phone, and then Facebook. I had this urge to know if Jace was hotter than what I saw him as today. And phew, he seemed like one of those 'Lady on the Streets but Tramp in the Sheets' kind of guy.

 _Hot dayum. I'll take those cooling wipes now,_ I thought as his profile picture opened up. It was a candid shot of him with his arm slung over the back of a sofa, his glasses pushed up his nose as he read a book with a cup of coffee on the table next to him.

And then that made me think, _What if he has a girlfriend?_ _Who'd taken this picture?_ That thought sobered me and I scrolled down his wall. Pictures of book covers, pictures of him with his friends, posts about video games. No sign of a girlfriend.

I almost sighed in relief before I saw a link to his Instagram account.

And _kaboom_. The screen filled with pictures of him as I kept scrolling, quelling my urge to double tap the shit out of those selfies. Because, pfft, it is so not stalker-like.

'Whatcha doing?' Isabelle chimed in greeting as she skipped over to our table.

'Shh, Izzy,' I warned, glancing over at the sleeping librarian who was half sprawled across her desk, face-down. She was going to wake up with sleep-marks which would make her look like a giraffe. 'You'll wake the velociraptor!'

She waved me off. 'That's okay. She sleeps like a rock. This once, we almost got away with sticking goose feathers in her hair,' she said. 'Oh my God, Clary. I just had an epiphany. I could become a librarian.'

I laughed, despite the sleeping velociraptor. 'Why?'

'I mean, think about it. I just have to be able to shelve stuff and be mean to kids,' she thought out loud. 'I swear, that is my life goal.'

I rolled my eyes and turned back to my phone until I hit a dead end. Huh. Seemed like this kid joined recently. I felt a tickle on my shoulder and turned back. Isabelle leaned over me and I almost died.

'What is wrong with you?' I asked her, a hand on my racing heart. 'You should come with a warning. "Keep away from personal space."'

Isabelle held up her hands. 'Nah, that's alright. It's okay if you're checking out yummy guys on Instagram,' she said casually, plopping down in a chair next to me.

I propped up my feet on the table. 'Because obviously, like, who posts pictures of themselves publicly and expects people not to ogle them?' I asked, and Magnus nodded his head.

'I know. They're doing us all lonely, desperate people a favour,' he said, his hands locked behind his head.

Isabelle looked offended. 'Hey. I love Simon.'

'Which is why your feed has pictures of half naked men, among others,' Magnus said in a deadpan way.

Isabelle flipped him off. 'Okay, so I'm supposed to stare at Simon's chest all day? I need variety. It ain't like I'm running off with one of them.'

'Amen,' I agreed.

'So, does anyone want ice cream?' Isabelle suggested, swinging her legs and standing up. I loved my friend.

'I do,' I perked up the same time Magnus said, 'Hells yes.'

Isabelle crossed her arms. 'I'm not getting it _here_.' _Most_ days I loved my friend. The other few, I wanted to run her over.

'Well, thank you for awakening my urge for a Magnum,' I rolled my eyes. 'That sounds like Magnus, but I meant Magnum.'

Magnus slapped my arm as we skipped down the steps of the library towards heat. 'You know that if I could, I'd flip and date you so you wouldn't be so lonely, but I can't. So, tough luck.'

I scrunched up my nose. 'Thank you for that boost of self-esteem.'

Isabelle narrowed her eyes at Magnus. 'What, you wouldn't date me? Am I that repulsive?'

Magnus looked like a deer caught in headlights. 'But…you and Stewart are soul mates.'

' _Simon_ ,' Isabelle corrected are we rounded the corner. The streets were empty because who in their sane mind would be out in this heat? Except us.

'Yes, yes, Stewart, Sandbox. Same thing.'

Ah, there it was. Our place. The ice cream shop. I could almost hear Isabelle and Magnus drooling, mixed in with a bit of my audio, too. 'This place is beautiful,' I declared and my friends nodded as we pushed the door open and it jingled.

 _Oh my God. You have got to be shitting me._

Jace stood behind the counter, ringing up an order. Now, I'd had crushes before and I swear, every time it went like this. I got too shy, and tried and avoid them. Which was basically my instinct at the moment.

The place was fairly crowded, the air conditioner a blessing from God. Almost all booths were filled, except one near the corner. We made a beeline for the booth and slumped into it, sighing.

'Thank God I didn't have to make you hold my earrings as I fought a bitch for this table,' I told Magnus. 'I am in no mood for bitch-fighting.'

Magnus mumbled a response, and Isabelle said, 'So, who's ordering?'

'Not me,' I almost shouted and Isabelle and Magnus looked at me all weird. 'Because I think I might pass out of exhaustion. I will pay you five bucks if you order,' I offered her.

Isabelle stared at me for a full five seconds before saying, 'Damn it, fine. You're lucky I like you. Else, your ass would be on the street.'

'I love you, too.'

* * *

 **A/N: Hello. I am back. Because it's Friday night and it's been raining all day, I was in a mood to write. Don't even ask me why. Just don't.**

 **About the cover picture of this story, I was going to put a picture or something but then realised I needed permission of the owner and I ain't got energy for all that. I think the profile picture is a default for stories without covers. Hence, that. That is me. In case anyone wanted to know what someone un-Clary-like or un-Jace-like person was doing on the cover.**

 **Thank you all for the reviews. Ten reviews for a chapter? Whaaaat? I don't think I've gotten those many reviews for a chapter before. Thank you for following, favouriting and reading.**

 **Guest 1:** I don't speak French, but I ran that through Google translate and thank you. I will definitely continue :D

 **Guest 2:** THANK YOU. I SHALL CONTINUE. Sorry, I just felt like replying in caps.

 **SO. Review?**


	3. Stage 3: The Show and Tell

**_Stage Three: The Show and Tell_**

* * *

'Magnus, stop.'

'What?'

' _Stop_ staring at Alec Lightwood's crotch so very blatantly,' I clarified, clearing my throat. 'You're very sparkly, and it draws attention towards your crotch-staring.'

Magnus turned to me, a hand on his hip. 'I was admiring art,' he said, sniffing and then snatching my Starbucks cup, taking a long drink.

I eyed him clutching the cup, daring me to take it back. 'Why don't you just piss around it? That'll seem less possessive,' I mused, stretching my legs over the bleachers and crossing them at the ankles and leaning back on my hands. They day was especially pleasant, like it might rain any time soon.

Magnus sat with his legs crossed and a math book open on his lap. He waved a highlighter around. 'What _is_ this?' he asked no one, scowling at the text.

'Well…' I started, 'if you paid attention in class, you'd know.'

He raised one of his fingers towards me. The not-nice one. 'Math and I are on a break from each other,' he explained slowly, like I was daft. 'We decided it was for the best, what with her ex lurking around.'

I nodded. 'I see what you did there.'

We sat there for a while, Magnus occasionally grunting and pulling his hair in frustration. Something lingered at the back of my mind and I looked around. No one was around anymore, so I thought now was a good time as any. 'Magnus.'

'Hmm?' he hummed distractedly, squinting at the book.

'What would you say if I had a crush on someone?' I asked, pulling up my knees to my chest.

He looked up. 'I know I'm hot, but I don't swing that way,' he joked and I slapped him on his arm.

'No, he's straight. I think,' I informed him and he shut his book.

'I think your choice in men lately has crashed and burnt. Multiple times,' he said, and then amended, 'sorry, _boys_. Your choice in _boys_. Because they all are way too pansy-assed to be called men.'

I looked at him and scrunched up my nose. 'True, true. Though this guy might be different, right? Fifth time's the charm?' I thought I might have sounded a bit pleading. I needed confirmation from someone else that it was time I put myself back on the dating scene after my last relationship ended badly.

Magnus looked at me sympathetically, like he wanted to say no, but didn't want to hurt my feelings. 'Okay, do you have pictures of him?' he relented and I smiled broadly.

'Need you ask? Yes, of course I do.' I dug around in my bag for my phone and then grinned when I opened up the gallery. Yes, I'd taken screenshots of his pictures. So?

I held it out towards Magnus who instantly grabbed it. 'I hate it when people do that, Magnus. When I show you something on my phone, you must have etiquette and admire it rather than snatching my phone,' I huffed out.

Magnus smirked. 'I think we've already established I'm inhuman.'

'Yes. An ape.'

He flicked through the photos in the folder titled 'Homework Assignments' because hello, I did not need people knowing I went full on stalker on a guy I barely knew. And no one would open that folder because of the repulsive name.

Magnus made a sound of appreciation. 'Well, damn. If he were gay, I'd be all. Over. That.' He said each of the last three words with finger snaps.

'Right?' I was relieved. 'So, what do you think? Is he a good enough person?'

Magnus looked up. 'I can't determine that by a couple of Instagram pictures, Clary. I need solid material. What does your gut say?'

I looked at him incredulously. 'My gut is slamming its head against the wall and spinning around drunk. We know where my gut has led me the last couple of times. Bad gut.'

Magnus smiled a little. 'I'm sorry I wasn't around to kick the asshole's ass,' he said, and then scoffed. 'Asshole's ass. The ass of the asshole…what is that, even? Like…the butt of a butt. A double butt.'

I laughed at that. 'We're so immature.'

'Though…from what I've heard about him, Jace is a good guy. I don't know much about his personality.'

'I've barely said anything to him since he moved here, Magnus. I was a complete bitch a couple of years ago, and I couldn't even welcome him like a normal person would. I was cold and just downright ignorant of anyone who tried to be friends with me,' I said, remembering the way being with Sebastian had kind of manipulated my way of seeing things. I was kind of impressionable and vulnerable and Sebastian was the sexy senior who'd show me a whole new side of things.

Only, that whole new side ended up changing me. It wasn't something I was proud of, and I saw just how much I'd changed when we'd broken up before his graduation. I could only thank God that Magnus wasn't around that year to see me that way. He knows the basics, but not all.

I guess I was looking a little wistful because Magnus was waving his hand before my face. 'Hello, human.'

I smacked his hand away and then looked at my phone's screen. 'I'll bet he's a real hottie under those baggy sweatshirts.'

'Oh my God, yes. Your children will be genetically perfect. I will plan your wedding,' Magnus fanned his face and I loved how he could divert my attention like that.

'That's taking it to a whole new level, my apprentice stalker,' I chided.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello. I know I'm a couple weeks but what can I say? Been busy, sick, then busy again. So. It's two thirty in the morning here. I don't think my brain is even functioning properly, so...**

 **Guest:** Maybe for a oneshot, yes, but barely for a chapter. Thank you :D

 **Ava:** Thank you. Put off by nerdy Jace? Aw shucks.

 **Katie:** Thanks, here's your update :)

 **So...leave a review?**


	4. AN

I know, I , too, hate Author's Notes, but I had to.

I realize I haven't updated in months, and I probably won't until October because I have midterm exams, and some things apart from exams have been really stressing me out, putting me in pissy, upset and angry moods and I just don't feel creative right now. It sucks because sketching and writing were some things that came to me freely, and right now, it's just not. I sat down with the word document open and couldn't write much, opened up my sketchpad and couldn't draw much, so I guess I'll try and update in October when I don't have deadlines and stuff.

Thanks.

-Sparrows13


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